I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Randomize
