I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
