ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize