we have pet lesbian snakes
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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