i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
