Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
