ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
