1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
