Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
