how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
