looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I had to cum in my sink.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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