Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
