can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
