So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
