Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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