We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
