i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
