if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
