The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
