reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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