yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
