well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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