Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
