So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize