worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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