Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize