so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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