Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
