Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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