Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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