You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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