She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
