Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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