I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
