So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
organizing the empties. That sober.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
