Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
