Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
