Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize