Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
