How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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