eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
