Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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