I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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