i just wanna soil my oats bro
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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