Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
