Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Banned from zoo.
Again?
this boner is exhausting
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize