I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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