Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
