Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
