it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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