Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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