Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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