I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
