Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
