I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
