does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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