people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
