i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize