Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
