32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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