i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
