garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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