just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
