Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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